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Avoiding the Trap of "What Should Be"
The Struggle Between "What Is" and "What Should Be"
How often have you dismissed the reality of your present circumstances because you were too focused on what should be? If you’re anything like me, the answer is: too many times to count. We live in a world that rewards achievement, progress, and goal-setting. Whether in our personal, professional, or spiritual lives, we are encouraged to always aim higher, work harder, and move forward. Society affirms this perspective by celebrating accomplished goals, met deadlines, and completed checklists.
Even Scripture appears to reflect this forward-looking mindset. In the Old Testament, much of the narrative revolves around anticipating a future salvation and a restored world. The Law dictated actions that, if followed, would draw people closer to that ideal future (Deuteronomy 28:1-2, NLT).
The New Testament also contains exhortations to focus on the future, such as Paul’s words in Philippians 3:13-14: “Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” (NLT). These verses, while encouraging perseverance, can sometimes be misinterpreted as justification for ignoring the present moment.
But here’s where we need balance. The future is important, yes, but so is the now. Jesus Himself emphasized being present, encouraging us not to worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34, NLT). The Christian walk is not just about reaching the end goal—it’s about how we live each moment between the "already" and the "not yet."
The Present as an Act of Worship
The Old Testament presents a reactive mindset: people followed the Law out of fear of punishment or a desire for blessings. However, under the New Covenant, we are invited into a different kind of present-focused living. Our actions are not just about acknowledging God's authority but responding to His grace.
James 1:22 reminds us: “But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.” (NLT). Our faith is not meant to be passive or purely future-oriented—it is meant to be lived out daily.
This means we must be mindful of how we approach the present. Are we engaging with our circumstances and the people around us, or are we merely tolerating today while looking forward to tomorrow?
Meeting People Where They Are
One of the greatest challenges in our spiritual journey is not only focusing too much on our own future but also expecting others to be further along than they are. We want our friends, family, and even strangers to “get it” immediately—to reach the level of understanding and maturity we believe they should have.
I was reminded of this in a recent Bible study on 2 Corinthians 4:18: “So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” (NLT). Having studied this passage extensively, I found myself growing frustrated with others in the group who were struggling to grasp its meaning. I had to remind myself that they are at different points in their faith journey. My impatience was not helping them—it was revealing my own blind spot.
Jesus modeled the perfect example of meeting people where they were. He did not expect immediate transformation but guided His disciples through gradual growth (Mark 4:33-34, NLT). We, too, should approach others with patience, humility, and a willingness to walk alongside them rather than rushing ahead.
The Danger of Spiritual Blind Spots
A common blind spot among believers is assuming that others are more spiritually mature than they are. I have seen leaders with significant followings struggle because they expected their audience to automatically understand deep theological concepts. When they failed to meet people at their level, their influence diminished.
This is why humility in leadership is crucial. Slowing down allows us to reconnect with those we guide, fostering relationships based on mutual understanding rather than assumption. Proverbs 27:23 advises, “Know the state of your flocks, and put your heart into caring for your herds.” (NLT). Shepherding others—whether as a pastor, mentor, or friend—requires knowing where they are, not where we expect them to be.
Mindfulness in Faith and Health
As a health coach, I have seen how the principle of mindfulness applies not only to faith but also to overall well-being. Many people live in their past regrets or anxiously anticipate the future. Few learn from the past, set goals for the future, and still manage to be fully present in the moment.
Mindfulness—being fully engaged in the present—can significantly impact mental, emotional, and spiritual health. When we focus too much on what should be, we risk missing the beauty of what is. Psalm 118:24 reminds us, “This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.” (NLT). Each day is a gift, meant to be embraced with gratitude.
A balanced perspective means:
- Learning from the past without being trapped by it.
- Setting goals for the future without obsessing over them.
- Living fully in the present, responding to God’s grace daily.
Living in the Now
While it is good to have vision and goals, we must not let them overshadow our present reality. The "already but not yet" tension of the Christian faith invites us to trust God in the waiting, embrace each moment, and remain mindful of His work in our lives today.
Let us remember to slow down, meet others where they are, and live each day as an act of worship. Only then can we truly walk in the fullness of God’s grace—not just in the future, but right now.